My friend, Sera Bellic, has been at it again and this is her latest creation. She writes in the land description, “‘Asian Fusion’ Country in the Orient. a picturesque sim with a collection of different Asian cultures. A touch of old and new merged together on one sim. Explore, take pictures or just hang out.”
This sim was picturesque and enjoyable to explore. I found it entertaining and interesting and recommend it to anyone looking for an unique adventure. Be sure and check it out.
As I wandered through the sim, enjoying the landscaping and the accompanying wildlife, I stumbled across the Panda bears. Having spent a portion of my younger years becoming acquainted with different philosophers, I found myself thinking of a particular quote that applies nicely to my life as of late. Attributed to Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, this quote was, “Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.”
I have spent a lot of the past year making many missteps and a lot of those missteps were the result of different emotions and needs at the time. To make matters worse, my worry about other’s perception (or approval) drove some of my decisions both right and wrong. This latter concern has been something that has plagued me the majority of my adult life. I do not know where this need to attempt to please others came from but realize that it does not always lead to the most desirable outcomes.
I have actually spent a lot of time over the years thinking about it and have come up with several reasons why this should not be a dictating practice in my life. Identifying the reasons is one thing but changing the behavior is something else completely different. It is something I know I need to work on so here are a few that I have identified to support the theory.
1, Lack of control of what other’s think of me. Everyone I encounter has had different life experiences that have influenced how they see the world. My beliefs and actions may or may not fit into what they consider acceptable or reasonable. Accepting that and knowing that I may not be able to change their belief system or influence their perception towards what I may consider acceptable is the first step in freeing myself from trying to be something that I am not in order to please them. With some people, I can do everything that I believe is right for the situation but they will not see it that way based upon their life outlook. Acknowledging that I cannot control their interpretation of me is the first step in accepting the situation as it exists.
2. Seeking other’s approvals takes a lot of time and energy. Thinking about, often referred to as worrying, takes up time that I could use to do something that brings me joy and happiness. Additionally, the energy that is wasted talking and dwelling upon what others may think of me could be better used for those other activities.
3. Not everyone is going to like me. I think about people’s preference when it comes to activities. Not everyone enjoys to fish or play football or quilt or sew. Does this diminish the quality of those activities if I prefer to do them (and quilt and sew are not actually activities I partake in, much less enjoy) or is it that they just do not enjoy them? Using that logic, it is safe then to assume that not everyone is going to like me, right? Accept it and move on, it is much easier when I can look at it as a personal preference. I may not be some people’s favorite activity and that is okay.
4. I really can have a full life without other’s approval. If I had never met the person, would their approval matter? No, and just because I do know them and they may or may not approve of me does that mean that I am wrong? No, it just means that their perception of the situation does not allow them to accept me as I am at that time. They may or may not have all the information or they just may not like me for one reason or another. Does that mean I have to change? Not at all, I can still lead a full life whether they approve of me or not.
5. I am responsible for my own happiness. At the end of the day, I am solely responsible for the quality of my life, not them. I, alone, will have to deal with the consequences of my life choices regardless of their opinions of me. If it is a choice that betters my life (and is not illegal) then that is my choice to make. It may not be the right choice in everyone’s eyes but, in the end, my happiness is my responsibility, not theirs.
Many will probably read this and not approve of my outlook or thoughts on the subject and that is okay. There will be some that will agree with and approve of the thoughts and that is okay too. By letting go of the self-applied restraints of worrying about what others think, I can achieve true freedom. Freedom to be the best me that I can be for me. This is not a license to be cruel and insensitive (though sometimes it may be perceived by some as that) but rather methods to allow me to live my best possible life. I accept that there will be differing opinions and I also acknowledge other’s rights to have them.
Back to the matter at hand. Sera is probably wondering what I think of her sim. I also hope that she will also acknowledge that my opinion, or approval or disapproval of her sim does not enhance or diminish what she believes she has accomplished with the build. I hope that what she has created her pleases her and that happiness is more than enough to carry her beyond what other’s, including myself, may say about it. That being said, I will simply state, “I love it!”. She is a very talented person who consistently puts her creative vision out there and opens it up for the rest of us to enjoy. Each of the builds she creates stand on their own merits and I have always approved of each of them. And I honestly hope that she does not care either way about what I think and does it strictly for her own inner satisfaction 🙂 But, yeah, it is great 🙂
Here are the pictures. I hope you enjoy them and the SLURL is at the bottom of the post so you can visit this build in-world.
To visit this location in Second Life, click here: Asian Fusion